That would be my official title, I swear. This whole week, when I wake up, the first thought I have is, I should really get up and start writing. And then my TV turns on, and my second thought is, lol, nope.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
There's a small part of me that's just not into my story right now. I've written a few scenes and, at the end, I'm just like...eh. I was slightly afraid that I had lost it, that I had lost complete interest in this story and these characters. I would stare at the blank page and apologize profusely to these fictional people, feeling terrible that they had to live in a standstill because I wanted to clean my apartment more than write them forward.
But then this morning, when I woke up, my first thought was...hm, maybe I should try writing today.
That means very little to you guys, I'm sure. So let me explain what's been going on these last few weeks...
I signed a three month lease on my apartment, thinking that I was going to move in with my boyfriend at the end of January. Well, I put in my 30 days notice, as is traditional (I just made myself laugh for a few minutes with that), and then my boyfriend and I had a little talk. Have I mentioned that I have a ten year old cat that is the absolute love of my life? Have I further mentioned that my boyfriend is severely allergic to cats? Have I further further mentioned that we were going to live in his awesome condo with little nooks and crannies, perfect for trapping cat hair and releasing them at the most inopportune moment?
Yeah, so that stress was on me for a few days.
In the end, I decided that I should stay in my apartment for a little while longer, and then we could find another place later on in the year. After a decade together, it's not like living separately is going to do anything to us. We've done it plenty of times before. We're weird. But we love each other, and that's what counts, right? Right.
So what does any of this have to do with not writing?
Stress is a large factor in my life. My mother is a worrier. Growing up, she would stress about every little thing, especially when she had to make decisions. I still have no idea how we made it through some of the things we did, because my mother was crap at deciding. Of course, so am I, so when we had to make a choice, we would stare at each other and wait for the other to break down. That's what I do now. On big life decisions, I don't want to disappoint anyone. So I wait for someone else to make the decision for me, which is totally healthy, right. When I went to the office to retract my 30 day notice, the residual stress from ditching my boyfriend stayed around me.
Until this morning, apparently.
Hopefully, in the next few weeks, I'll get back into a groove, a schedule of sorts with writing. Just writing that makes me excited, so that's a great thing!
Anyway, this whole rambling post is just a heads up for the future. I'm going to push forward and I'll update everyone accordingly. I'll start posting some information about this next book, too...as soon as I figure out what exactly is going on with my characters. But, so far, it sounds pretty good!
Wishful thinking. It gets you everywhere.
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