Onward and Upward

I feel like the last few weeks have gone by in a blur.

So, after the Oval Nationals, I figured I would buckle down and get to work on NaNo, right? Well, that was the plan, but it didn't quite work out that way. We decided to go to Arizona the next weekend for the last bit of races, and I ended up feeling kind of run down that whole weekend. Between flying and driving and sitting outside in the cold while dust flew up my nose and in my mouth, it all took its toll on me. I started trying to get serious this week, but it's been difficult. It's getting colder around here and all I want to do is clean the house, curl up in bed, and read.

I never thought I'd be so happy to see the end of November.

What does that mean for NaNo? Well, I'm going to work my butt off for the next four days and see what I can get done. I'm not so far behind that winning is impossible, but one could call it a long shot. Luckily, this story is not something that I was too terribly excited about, but just something I grabbed out of my folders. I knew this month would be insane, so I picked something that I could "mindlessly" write and know that it would never see the light of day. Looking over some of the things I've written, it's ridiculous and trite, but it's been helping me write everyday (more or less) and getting my brain working again.

My brain has really been getting at the future. December is going to be another slightly crazy month, but I'm going to utilize it the best I can. I've already started compiling a list of all the stories that I have in my folders that are...well, I guess you could say, worth something. Those are the stories that could be more, that could turn into novels with just a little love and patience. The plan (oh, the plan) is to take December to really look at them, to figure out if I could flesh them out into something that I would be excited about. Then, starting near the end of December or in January, I'm going to start writing (I'll still be writing everyday, and I'll talk about that in a second). Sprint cars don't get going until the beginning of March, and we have been planning on working on the house most weekends, but I can make it work. I'm determined to make it work, actually. I want something done before my birthday, something that I can hold in my hands and say, dang, that's mine.

As for writing everyday, I'm planning on doing what I make my students do: get into some prompts. I want to get into the habit of writing something each day, whether it's a hundred words or a thousand. It's like physical exercise: once I get into the swing of it, I'll crave it. There's thousands of websites out there with daily prompts, and I'd be an idiot not to use them. I hate New Years resolutions because I feel like you're just setting yourself up to fail (maybe it's just me), but I'm trying to be more organized in the coming year. That includes writing. Keep your fingers crossed for me, because I'm going to need it.

Besides all that, I'm betting that this blog is going to turn into me complaining that this house is too damn big and that I hate having to turn it into something I want to live in. Typical white people problems, basically. And no, I don't live in a mansion or anything close, but sometimes I look around our house and wonder what the hell we're going to do with some of the space. Then, within the space of two seconds, I wonder why we don't have more space for all of our junk. Then I wonder if anyone wants to buy a slightly used, mostly broken cat.

Cat hair rug included!

But that might just be me,

Oval Nationals and Then...Weirdness

This weekend was a trip.

Before leaving on Thursday, I made certain to pack my laptop and extra books, since I figured I'd be alone in the hotel room most of the time. I'd be able to catch up on my writing and finish one book so I could get started on another that I've had my eye on for weeks now. So, how did I do? Let's put it this way: I'm about 5,000 words behind and didn't finish one book. 

But I didn't care. 

Perris Auto Speedway during a quiet moment

Sprint cars are amazing. I knew this before, but this weekend only reinforced and strengthened my love for this sport. Watching the boy work alongside people I've been cheering for was surreal. I met drivers and others involved in this sport that I've treated like celebrities for the last few years. The best part of it all was seeing him so happy. He was having the time of his life (even though his team didn't do so hot).

The boy (in the blue hat) checking out Hubcap Mike's car

Watching what goes into making these cars run is terrifying. I felt like they should fall apart in a matter of seconds (side note: the smell of Methanol and cigarettes is an intoxicating perfume). Everyone involved is absolutely insane, I swear. The mechanics, the drivers, the photographers. One photographer I met takes amazing shots, but it's horrifying to watch him perch precariously on the wall and lean out toward the track while the cars whiz by, all to get the perfect picture. The mechanics work faster and harder than anyone I've ever seen, and they have the harrowing task of making sure this car doesn't self-destruct on the track and the driver doesn't die. There are no words for the drivers themselves: their huge balls speak for them. 

Now I'm back home (for awhile...) and trying to catch up on everything I missed while being so wrapped up in sprint cars. 

I'm plunking away at NaNo. I think this one might come down to the wire. I'm into the story and finding inspiration everywhere I turn, but something is stopping me. It's not writer's block or even that cat (surprise!), but, as weird as this sounds, I think the feeling are getting to me. Some of the scenes are terribly sad and it gets me really down for awhile, so much so that I don't want to do anything more than stare at the cat and contemplate my own life. I'm going to try my best, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a quiet Thanksgiving break, although I was just told that I would be working that Wednesday, so siiiiigh. 

Now, for a Mr. Roger's moment. Now that things are looking to slow down, I notice an aspect of my personality that I thought had gone forever: obsession. 

This sounds like the prelude to a Saturday Morning Special. 

We have a lot of stuff to do around the house, and I tend to zone in on one thing and obsess over it until it's perfect. Seriously. It's scary. I used to (sadly) do this with boys in high school: I'd get a crush and then have to refrain from driving by his house every two seconds (I lived in a small enough town where this sort of behavior would have been noticed pretty quickly). Luckily, I'm not insane anymore. But that same level of obsession seems to be creeping over me. It's come for little things, but they've all consumed my every waking moment. It stresses me out to no end. I want things to get going and to be done, and sometimes I can't see over the rainbow to the next project. It takes a lot of deep breaths to keep me going through the day and lovely bedtime stories to keep my dreams obsession free.It feels dangerous and heady, but I enjoy it.

What I'm getting at here is that obsession is okay. Obviously, there are different levels to this, but I think constantly looking up pictures for your office (me right now) or writing a boy's name a thousand times in your notebook (me at 15) is okay. Just, you know, don't get all Single White Female on whatever you're obsessing over. 

I just dated myself. Whatever, I'm old. 

Now, back to writing. Hopefully my next post will be full of happiness and self-praise for almost being done. 

As always, fingers crossed. 

Not That Easy by Radhika Sanghani

Hello! I hope everyone had a very fun - and very safe - Halloween! I did, but my allergies got to decide all of my activities for me, which wasn't too bad, considering I ate popcorn and candy and watched scary movies most of my trip. So, no complaints here.

Today, I'm back to tell you all about one of my favorite new series (fingers crossed!) by Radhika Sanghani. The first book, Virgin, was hilarious and sweet (my review for it is right here). Now her second book comes out this Tuesday, and of course I had to write a proper review for Not That Easy because it was even better than the first (if that's possible).

Ellie used to be a virgin, but now she’s a woman with sexual experience. Well, some sexual experience. She also has debt, an unpaid magazine internship, and three flatmates who left her with the single room to match her single status.

That’s okay. She doesn’t want a boyfriend anyway—she wants several. And if the sex is exciting enough, her ruthless magazine editor boss can exploit her dating life for a column.

After countless hook-ups, a disastrously fiery encounter with some heat lube, and one orgasm class, Ellie is faced with the sad reality of her sexual ineptitude. But when she starts to witness the emotional wreckage she’s leaving in her wake, Ellie realizes that sex can be hard, and there’s a down side to giving it up too easy.

Ellie is...the best. Nothing gets this girl down, and she takes on every adventure head first. Sometimes, her enthusiasm can cause some problems (especially with her flatmates), but she works her butt off to fix everything to the best of her ability. She's strong and absolutely believable, mainly because she seems like your best friend. Ellie is the type of girl you want to hang out with, hold her hand over her mistakes, and laugh at her cringe-worthy stories. Not only is she totally real, she's also one of the best when it comes to confidence. That was one of the things that really drew me in with her. Ellie might be a twenty-two year old intern with a murky future and less than stellar decision-making skills, but she makes up for it with her confidence. Like I said before, she goes for what she wants, even if she doesn't quite know how to get it. When trying to figure out how to have an orgasm, Ellie pumps herself up by reminding herself that "they do it all the time in movies and porn, and those girls haven't even been to uni. You have a degree, Ellie - you can master this."

One of the main themes of this book was slut shaming, and Sanghani attacks it with perfection. At one point, Ellie and her friends decide to take the word back, to show the world that yes, they are women who love sex, and yes, they are not ashamed of that. I loved that they didn't immediately run around town and act shameless about their exploits, but they did have sex with whomever they wanted and didn't care what others said. On the flip side, Sanghani made sure to include those people that do slut shame, and did it in such a way that I had to read the passage a few times to make sure that the guy was really saying what I thought he was saying. When Ellie has sex with someone she probably shouldn't have (to say more would be spoilers), her flatmate Will tells her, "I hold your directly responsible for this whole mess...it's just you on your crazy slut quest who seduced him and made this happen." While Ellie did take responsibility for her part of the mistake, it was the other person in this party that initiated sex. He told Ellie exactly what she wanted to hear in order to get what he wanted...but none of the flatmates saw it that way. It was frustrating and annoying, but that's how it goes.

Overall, I'd have to recommend this to everyone. Well, at the very least, every young woman (and man) that goes through that awkward phase of "everyone is having sex but me and I'm such a loser for that." You're not. Don't ever think that. Sex doesn't make you more of an adult or cooler or anything like that. It just means you've had sex. High five! But, if you haven't, high five! Everyone wins!