Leave Me by Gayle Forman

Hello hello everyone! I hope you're all having a wonderful day, whatever day that may be in your time zone. For me, it's Wednesday, which means I'm halfway through the week and that much closer to another weekend. Sometimes I wish that everyday was a weekend, but then I don't think I'd survive much longer without money. Sigh.

But if you need a little pick me up today, I have it right here with Leave Me by Gayle Forman!

For every woman who has ever fantasized about driving past her exit on the highway instead of going home to make dinner, for every woman who has ever dreamed of boarding a train to a place where no one needs constant attention--meet Maribeth Klein. A harried working mother who's so busy taking care of her husband and twins, she doesn't even realize she's had a heart attack.

Afterward, surprised to discover that her recuperation seems to be an imposition on those who rely on her, Maribeth does the unthinkable: She packs a bag and leaves. But, as is so often the case, once we get to where we're going, we see our lives from a different perspective. Far from the demands of family and career and with the help of liberating new friendships, Maribeth is finally able to own up to secrets she has been keeping from those she loves and from herself.

With big-hearted characters who stumble and trip, grow and forgive, Leave Me is about facing our fears. 

Honesty time: I've only read one of Gayle Forman's books. I know, I'm a terrible person. She's absolutely everywhere and everyone raves about her books, but I've only gotten around to one. I really liked that one, but I, like so many others, assumed that she only wrote young adult fiction. I was sort of right, because this is her adult fiction debut, and she nails it.

Maribeth is a harried mother of young twins, a wife to a man she suspects doesn't really care anymore, and an employee to her best friend who feels more like a boss than anything nowadays. It's no surprise when she mistakes her heart attack for indigestion, because she does not have time to take care of herself when there are so many others to take care of. Once she checks into the hospital, though, Maribeth realizes that she has to start taking care of herself if she wants to survive. So she leaves, traveling to Pittsburgh to start a new life, even if it's just for a short amount of time. There, she makes new friends and meets a new doctor that could do more than just save her life.

The way that this book is set up makes you really step into Maribeth's shoes. At first, I was so glad when Maribeth left. I was hoping she would leave her house before she even thought about leaving. Her twins are demanding, with one of them a little brat and the other a mommy's boy, and they don't seem to understand that their mother's life was threatened. Then there's Jason, her husband. He helps for a few days, but then expects everything to get back to normal and, when they don't, he becomes mean. I shoved Maribeth out of that house so hard that I'm surprised she didn't stumble to the train station.

But once she's gone, I started to think about what she had done. She had left her children in the care of a father that didn't know what to do. Maribeth had taken care of everything in that house, and Jason was at a loss. It wasn't entirely his fault, because Maribeth is one of those people that doesn't ask for help. Jason didn't know what to do because Maribeth had never told him what to do, which is annoying, but understandable for some couples. 

I think this was the ultimate "stepping away from the fight." You know how you're supposed to take a few minutes to yourself when you're fighting with someone? And then you can see both sides and come to a peaceful resolution? Maribeth just took that to the extreme. She travels nearly four hundred miles to get away from her family and her life, and it takes a little while before she understands the magnitude of her life. She has had a heart attack and she has left her family. She gets so angry when she realizes that Jason never emails her to see where she is or what she's doing, but the reason for that humbles her. I think, in fights, we always want to be the right one, the victim, as it were, and when we realize that some of the fight could be our fault, we suddenly remember that we're human, that we make mistakes, and that's a terrifying idea. Maribeth and Jason don't talk to each other much, due to their busy lives, and living to Pittsburgh, while a huge step, ends up being one of the best things for their relationship.

The characters are written in such a way that you see them in Maribeth's light for most of the book, and then you begin to form your own opinions when they begin speaking back to her. You realize that friends aren't really friends or that someone you thought was a complete jerk is just terrified of everything. Maribeth's Pittsburgh friends, Sunny and Todd, are the best because they accept Maribeth into their little circle without a question. They know that she's hiding things and that she's not who she says she is, but they don't care. They know that she'll tell them everything in due time. Dr. Grant, Maribeth's doctor in Pittsburgh, is a sweet, slightly damaged man that means the world to Maribeth during this time. 

Overall, this is probably one of my favorite books I've read this summer, and I'm glad that I didn't wait on this one. It comes out September 13, so there's a bit of a wait for everyone else, but it'll be worth it when you snap it up on that day!

Where Is She Now?

Wow, I feel like it's been months since I've last seen this blog, but it's only be a few weeks. I have a few reviews lined up that will roll out this week, but I figured I should probably update this thing so you people don't think it's just a chicken typing out the reviews. Although, that's something I'm going to look for in the future {hastily googles typing chicken}.

This whole summer has gone by in a blur. A hot, sweltering, disgustingly sweaty blur. That's one main reason I've been staying away from my computer lately. Moving two inches to the left would cause my entire body to melt, so I've been doing my best to stay in the pool or in front of a fan. Thankfully, the weather has finally broken {for, like, two days}, so I'm getting everything I need done this weekend. I don't think it's supposed to be like the inside of an active volcano this week, but who knows. Southern California does like to surprise its residents.

The first night at Fenway for Pearl Jam.

Speaking of sweat {I know, right}, I spent most of last week in Boston. The boy got tickets to Pearl Jam at Fenway {sorry Yankee loving Bree from a thousand years ago} and we've always wanted to visit Boston, so it was a no brainer. It was all kinds of humid there and my hair was a puddle of sweat the moment we stepped out of the hotel, but it was awesome. Something about Boston brings out the American pride in me. We went to Cheers, which was surreal and so delicious. Like, I watched Cheers relentlessly as a kid because I convinced myself that I would grow up and marry Sam Malone. This was obviously before I understood that television shows were not real.

The oh so beautiful Cheers sign outside of the downstairs bar/restaurant

Then my boyfriend was a good sport and we drove to Salem to see the witch museum and to walk around the downtown area, which reminded us of a strange witchy Disneyland. Salem held a special draw for me, because I was that weird kid in elementary school that was slightly obsessed with the Salem Witch Trials, and I'm also in the midst of writing a book that deals with aforementioned trials. It's been floating around in my head {and my computer} for a few years now, and being in Boston only pushed me more into writing it. It's gone through some major revisions, more of which I'll talk about as the story develops.

The tour was kind of weird, but I was just excited to be there.

We also drove to New Jersey to watch the Bayern Munich-Real Madrid game, which was a dream come true. I've been wanting to go see a Bayern game for years and when the opportunity arose, we snatched up tickets. It really served to remind me why I don't like going to sporting events in America, but we had a good time, even though Bayern did lose.

My boys

The only downer of the trip came on Monday. Two things really did it, but we're going to start with the less depressing. We flew Delta. In case that means nothing to you, let me elaborate: Delta had some kind of power outage in Atlanta on Monday morning and that affected a bajillion flights, including ours. But we didn't know that until we stepped into the airport. So they got us on another flight, seven and a half hours later. We landed in Salt Lake City around midnight, where we had to make sure our luggage was moved to the correct flight and find someone who would get us the hotel room that we had been promised back in Boston. Well, we found our luggage. The hotel room, however...not so lucky. Our flight left at six in the morning, so the boy and I figured that sleeping in the airport wouldn't be too bad. It wasn't...until two in the morning, when we found out that our six a.m. flight had been cancelled. Fast forward to three a.m., after a temper tantrum by both the boy and me, several unhelpful employees, and three ridiculous flights that didn't leave for sixteen hours, and then someone finally got us on an Alaska Airlines flight at six in the morning. Twenty hours after we first arrived at the Boston airport, we arrived home, tired, gross, without luggage, but home. We finally got our luggage this week and we've vowed never to fly Delta again.

That was only frustrating. I'm sure what I'm about to share only added to our bad moods.

On Saturday night, my boyfriend told me that Bryan Clauson, one of my favorite drivers, was injured badly in an accident. He had to be airlifted to the hospital. Me being me, I thought, he'll be fine; he's Bryan Clauson. I was ready to smile and laugh when reports would come out to tell everyone that he woke up Sunday morning, shook it off, and got back into his car. Unfortunately, I was the one to have to share with my boyfriend on Monday morning that Bryan died.

We were both kind of shell-shocked.

Neither of us knew Bryan Clauson personally. He'd driven at Perris, our hometown track, several times, but I had been too terrified to go up to him. Being honest right now, the main reason I had latched onto him was because he was so scary looking. I constantly made jokes to my boyfriend that if anyone pissed Bryan Clauson off, they better sleep with one eye open. Then I watched him race and realized that he was just as scary behind the wheel, and I was in awe. He may have been six years younger than me, but he was larger than life in my eyes. I couldn't possibly talk to him. I wasted so many opportunities to go up to him and tell him that he was my favorite, that he was amazing to watch on the dirt, because I was too scared. But it's not even that that's making me tear up right now. He leaves behind a gorgeous fiancée and two super adorable puppies. He was chasing two hundred races this year and he was kicking ass at each one he showed up to. He was 27 years old. Like...no. This was someone who brought so much joy into so many people's lives, and it's not fair. And don't be one of those people to tell me that life is unfair, because, yes, I know that, but this is so unfair that it's just wrong.

Every race, my anxiety is multiplied a thousand fold for the boy and his driver, Any little thing could go wrong, and I find myself asking whatever is listening to keep them safe. We all know what this sport can do. And yet we're all still out there because we love it. If you take anything away from this blog post, let it be this: google Bryan Clauson. Read about him. Look at what he did with his life. Look at the impact he's still having, from sprint cars to NASCAR to Indy. He was so much more than just a driver. There is never going to be another like him.

Now, on that note, have a great Monday, and look forward to a few posts this week. I promise, I'm trying to get better to get organized, but it's been a mess around here for so long. Keep your fingers crossed for me!