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Monday, January 27, 2014

Writing Through the Stress

Can I have a moment?

I think I've done pretty well keeping my "real" life separate from my "writing" life on this blog (trust me, you would not want me to talk about what I really think about my job or the people I work for). But, just for a second, I'd like to complain. Take note, those people who are moving into an apartment or thinking about it. Just a little warning for what you might come against.

Two weeks ago, when I made the decision to stay at my apartment, I went to the leasing office to tell them that I wanted to sign a new lease and stay for another nine months. They said great, we'll call you in a few days to sign the lease. Great. That was taken care of. Except...it wasn't. They didn't contact me for an entire week, and when I went back in there to talk to them, they told me that they hadn't done anything to my lease. Then, yesterday, the girl from the office calls me and says that she'll send a copy of my lease to my dad (because, like all good, college educated 30-somethings, my dad had to co-sign on my lease). He prints it out, signs it, sends it back. Easy peasy. Except the front office apparently doesn't understand how to send PDF emails, because all we got was a link to a search engine telling us that the file could not be found. Well, no prob, just fix it and send another one, right?

Oh, wait, Bree, you wanted us to send that fixed link yesterday? Well, 10:15 a.m. on a Monday is the same thing, right?

Siiiiiiiigh.

Needless to say, I'm a bit frazzled right now.

Luckily, this all started on Sunday, so Saturday night was stress-free and I was able to write out a few scenes. I'm not entirely sure where they're going to go at this moment, but I wrote and there they are. That makes me sound so defeated. I'm not! Stress ruins everything for me, I swear. It invades every aspect of my life until I'm about to pop. But that's why I write sometimes. It takes all that stress away from me. I feel like that's what I should be doing right now, because writing always clears my mind of everything that I don't need. But then Twitter is all, hey, Bree, did you see the new Doctor's outfit? You should totally check it out, along with half a bajillion other things!

And, really, who am I to argue with Twitter?

But since I'm already prepared for the day (thanks to my impeccable schedule management, right? No, it's because I was ready to go kick some butt in the leasing office, and, for right now, I don't have to), I may see what I can do with the time I have. Maybe I can use this stress and anger to write a war scene. Is there a war scene in my book? There is now!

But, seriously, I won't ignore Twitter because, well...have you seen Capaldi's outfit? It's fabulous.

Friday, January 24, 2014

My Week of Real Writing

While I want to talk about what a productive week I've had, I feel that I can't as I sit here watching a movie and reading a book (no, I don't have ADD). There's a thousand things that I should be doing right now, but I'm being lazy and sitting on the couch, wrapped in my TARDIS blanket, wondering why I'm watching this movie. I won't mention the title (since I shouldn't really be watching it...), but where I thought I would get a semi-okay adaptation of one of my favorite books, all I'm getting is a weird inter-species version of The Notebook. That sounds really weird, but it makes a lot of sense, trust me.

Besides that junk, though, I have been rather productive! I've written almost three chapters and I'm rolling on. All the characters just came rushing back to me, like there had been no lull in our conversation. So while I'm excited to keep going, I found that I'm not a really good morning writer. My brain takes some time to wake up and, when it finally does, I find that I have to clean my kitchen or take a shower or go to work. So I have a good chunk of time at night to write, and the better writing comes during that time. (Can you tell? I write these things in the morning before all that stuff catches up to me.) I plan on spending a few hours tonight writing, so maybe I'll get a chapter or two out of it before I collapse into bed.

I'm trying to put myself on a very strict timeline. April is really just around the corner. I'm not sure that I've mentioned it, but this year, my boyfriend and I decided to do a little project together. Have I not said how brilliant my boyfriend is? And not just because he's my boyfriend, but because he's truly brilliant. He came up with this awesome idea for a movie and I told him about Script Frenzy (even though, sadly, it hasn't been "Script Frenzy" in about two years), and he thought that we should work on it together! So I'll be devoting that entire month to hanging out with my boyfriend and working on a really fun sounding script.

But don't worry! I'll have plenty of time to finish this manuscript and then maybe I'll take the month of April off. Give me some perspective on the story. Let it sink in for awhile. Then, in May, I'll start editing and revising. Maybe I can get this one out a little earlier than the first one, since I won't worry about sending it to publishers. That's what killed me last time!

Oh, by the way, I guess this is going to be a sort of public service announcement for those who read this and are writers. In the last week, I've received three emails from a certain Dorrance Publishing. It sounded wonderful, because they found my book from the copyright office and wanted to read my manuscript. But, being the wise old woman I am, I went online to search about this company. It seems like sort of a scam, because many people have said that the company asked them for anywhere from six thousand to ten thousand dollars to publish. Really? That's pathetic. So, in case any of you out there are thinking of publishing or copyright your work, and you get an email from those people, do your research first. I almost didn't. It would have been a mess.

But I'll get out of the pulpit now. I about twelve minutes left of this movie and then I'm free! Maybe I'll talk about it in another post, where I can lie and say I went to see it in the theaters (whoops, do you know why I'm not talking about it now?). Because there is much to complain about with this piece of work. And that makes me so sad.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Finding Moments of Zen

One fun thing about working in the educational system is getting random vacation days. One of those days was yesterday for Martin Luther King, Jr., Day. While I had planned out a certain schedule, and then that schedule got totally messed up, but then it got back on track. If the schedule was so on track, then, why didn't I post this yesterday?

I may have gotten a little carried away.

I had planned on writing for a few hours and then cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, reading, and lazing around for the rest of the day. Surprisingly, I managed to do all that (except laundry. Do you realize how crazy people get for the laundry room on vacation days?), and the writing was what got out of hand. I wrote for two hours, as was scheduled, and then went to reading. But, halfway through one chapter, I ran back to my computer and kept going. Then I started cleaning, but ten minutes later, I was back at the computer. It went like this for the rest of the day, with me writing in spurts and bursts, and then finally stopping when I realized I got absolutely nothing else done (well, I got half of things done).

So what does this mean? It means that the excitement for my story is back. And not a moment too soon.

What happened? Well, I hate to say something that sounds so lame, but it's the book I'm reading. In the last few months, I feel like I've been reading the same story with different covers. When the library told me my copy of Night Film was ready to pick up, I went with low expectations. When I expected, though, was completely different than what I got. I'm not done with it yet, but let's just say, this book is not going the way I thought it would. It's weird and strange and dark and completely out there.

In short, it broke me out of my funk and let me be weird in my writing.

While rereading what I wrote yesterday, I find myself smiling and wondering just what I was thinking, but in a completely good way. Some of the words don't even sound like me. But I like all of it. That's a huge step!

So I'm going to keep it going. I'll be writing every day, even if it's just a few hundred words, or a few thousand pages. And I'm looking into other ways to getting my book out there, so look for a post about that coming up...pretty soon, I think. As long as I have some time to sit at the computer and really map out what I want to do. But I'm excited, and I hope that my excitement excites all of you.

That sounds kind of weird. Sorry.

Friday, January 17, 2014

Worst. Writer. Ever.

That would be my official title, I swear. This whole week, when I wake up, the first thought I have is, I should really get up and start writing. And then my TV turns on, and my second thought is, lol, nope.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

There's a small part of me that's just not into my story right now. I've written a few scenes and, at the end, I'm just like...eh. I was slightly afraid that I had lost it, that I had lost complete interest in this story and these characters. I would stare at the blank page and apologize profusely to these fictional people, feeling terrible that they had to live in a standstill because I wanted to clean my apartment more than write them forward.

But then this morning, when I woke up, my first thought was...hm, maybe I should try writing today.

That means very little to you guys, I'm sure. So let me explain what's been going on these last few weeks...

I signed a three month lease on my apartment, thinking that I was going to move in with my boyfriend at the end of January. Well, I put in my 30 days notice, as is traditional (I just made myself laugh for a few minutes with that), and then my boyfriend and I had a little talk. Have I mentioned that I have a ten year old cat that is the absolute love of my life? Have I further mentioned that my boyfriend is severely allergic to cats? Have I further further mentioned that we were going to live in his awesome condo with little nooks and crannies, perfect for trapping cat hair and releasing them at the most inopportune moment?

Yeah, so that stress was on me for a few days.

In the end, I decided that I should stay in my apartment for a little while longer, and then we could find another place later on in the year. After a decade together, it's not like living separately is going to do anything to us. We've done it plenty of times before. We're weird. But we love each other, and that's what counts, right? Right.

So what does any of this have to do with not writing?

Stress is a large factor in my life. My mother is a worrier. Growing up, she would stress about every little thing, especially when she had to make decisions. I still have no idea how we made it through some of the things we did, because my mother was crap at deciding. Of course, so am I, so when we had to make a choice, we would stare at each other and wait for the other to break down. That's what I do now. On big life decisions, I don't want to disappoint anyone. So I wait for someone else to make the decision for me, which is totally healthy, right. When I went to the office to retract my 30 day notice, the residual stress from ditching my boyfriend stayed around me.

Until this morning, apparently.

Hopefully, in the next few weeks, I'll get back into a groove, a schedule of sorts with writing. Just writing that makes me excited, so that's a great thing!

Anyway, this whole rambling post is just a heads up for the future. I'm going to push forward and I'll update everyone accordingly. I'll start posting some information about this next book, too...as soon as I figure out what exactly is going on with my characters. But, so far, it sounds pretty good!

Wishful thinking. It gets you everywhere.

Monday, January 13, 2014

A Weekend Without Writing

I know, what a post to come on the heels of my last post. After I just finished bragging about how I'm writing every day, I come back and tell you people that I spent an entire weekend without my computer. Not writing. No creative juices flowing at all. I'd like to say that I sat on the couch and thought of a thousand scenes for my book, but that's not the case at all. I sat on the couch and let Stephen King paint scenes for me. He's so good at that.

Was it a conscious decision to leave my computer at home while I couched the weekend away at my boyfriend's? Well, yes. I stood at my door, scanning my apartment for things that I may have forgotten to pack, and my eyes landed on my computer. But did I walk over there and put it in my bag? Nope. I thought to myself, my, how nice would it be to not bring my computer this weekend? It's kind of a pain to haul around and I probably wouldn't touch it anyway. kthnxbyeeee. (Yes, I really say that last line to my apartment before I leave for the weekend.)

Now, what does that all meeeeeeeean? Nothing. It really means absolutely nothing. I just didn't want to carry my computer around this weekend. It's kind of a pain to get the cord out from under my computer and my hands were full. Not that I didn't have plenty of ideas for my book, and I wrote them down, but after the week of writing that I had, I wanted a little break. I'm getting back to it tonight, since I spent the entire morning cleaning and pretending to do laundry (my laundry room closes all the time for no reason at all). Sure, I could be working on it right now, but the bathroom is calling me and The Carrie Diaries is on...

Procrastination. Didn't I tell you I'm a pro?

But, really. Now that things are settled and I'm not moving any time soon, I can get a solid schedule going on. It's the buckling down part that really gets me. I love making schedules, but getting myself to follow them is kind of a hassle. But all the writers say that you should have a schedule and write at the best time for you every day. Nice advice coming from people who have no other job than to sit around and write all day!

Okay, that was my jealousy monster. I put her away for now.

The tub is beckoning me. As is taking a shower and getting to Target for some all-purpose cleaner and the kitchen so I can make some food...My apartment is loud.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Writing, Writing, Writing

Oh, man, is it just me or are there not enough hours in the day? Sure, most of this week's hours have been spent sleeping or wrapping myself in my TARDIS blanket and thinking, This will surely make me feel better. But I'm almost completely over this annoying cold now, so I'm hoping that next week can take on a more normal schedule. And then I just get to screw that all up by moving again! Yay!

I guess I should just dive right in then, right?

Okay, first things first. After planning the sale and my schedule for the upcoming week, I read the small print on Amazon and found that I can really only have one sale right now. At first, discouragement raged inside me, but then I realized what a good thing that is. Now I can properly plan a sale, and not just throw one up whenever I feel like it. While I was very excited to have this sale, I know that I'll be even more excited next month for this sale. Planning things get my blood pumping. I'm a dork like that.

Second! I'm writing again, but it might not be the story I want to concentrate on. But I figure that it's nice that I'm writing. I have been working on the sequel for Amory and her friends, but this other story...is kind of wrapped up in my life. There's so much involved in this story that I could just give up my job and dedicate my entire life to writing it. But it's also one of those stories that I can shelf and work on other things. Writing a sequel is hard, though. Not just keeping everything straight and wondering which questions to answer, which to lengthen out some more, but getting back into the voice of these characters I've been effectively ignoring for some time. Of course, like all good stories, I find my inspiration at the most random times, like when I'm driving or at a concert or wherever I am without easy access to a phone or notebook or even just a pen. I wish I was like Sherlock and had a mind palace (which I've heard I could have, but it sounds rather involved and difficult), but I don't, so I have to make due with whatever space my brain has.

Also, you know, maybe people should stop writing books so I can work on mine. It's really rude of other people to push their amazing words on me when I should be sitting in front of my computer. Also, websites. Super annoying. Still, I've nailed down a schedule for writing and I'm going to stick with it. I'm hoping for the same kind of schedule as last year, and maybe I'll be ready for editing by May, maybe even earlier. That's if I can sit down and write, not be enticed by the wonders of the internet.

Oh, and Supernatural. A girl could get lost for hours in Supernatural.

Monday, January 6, 2014

I'm Not Lost!

I swear I'm not. The New Year didn't get off to a grand start, but that's only because I got sick and totally shirked on my responsibilities. New blog entry? Forget that, go to sleep. Promote book that was on sale? Meh, I'll get to it when the medicine kicks in. I even set my alarm semi-early today so I would have enough time to blog before I got to work on cleaning my apartment and getting my laundry done.

Well, zero of three ain't bad, right?

I took Nyquil last night (super early so I wouldn't be groggy all day). Pros of Nyquil: knocks me out quick so I won't have to hear myself cough, sniffle, or die a little because I'm aching. Cons of Nyquil: the moment it stops working, all hell breaks loose. Mine stopped working at exactly 3:37 a.m. That was also the time when my cat decided to sing my the song of her people. For two hours. As loud as she freaking could. So when I finally got to sleep around six this morning, I knew the alarm for 8:30 would come and go. Which it did. And I'm eternally grateful for that.

But that does mean that I got absolutely nothing done this morning. Since I'm right in the middle of a spurt of energy, I thought I would write and see what else I could get done before I take my nighttime medicine (AlkaSeltzer this time. I'm taking no chances for tomorrow morning).

So, that explains the missed blog entry. Now what about the missed sale?

Yes, it still went on without me. That's how the world works, unfortunately. But I did forget to promote it or do anything for it, and I only remembered the sale on the third, so I was a little late to the party. That doesn't mean that I should sit back on my butt and let it pass by, though. Okay, so it did already pass by, but you get the idea. Or maybe not. What I'm trying to say is that there's going to be another sale, another chance for everyone to get All You Left Behind for a super cheap price. Since Amazon is being a pain the butt right now, I can't say for certain that it's going to be January 13-17, but that's what I'm aiming for. I promise update this thing when I know for certain.

And that should segue nicely into other promises. This is a new year, and instead of making completely ridiculous resolutions (I had one when I was a kid to become Mrs. Jonathan Brandis), I decided to make some that would be beneficial to me and that I could keep. So, one of my resolutions is to update this thing more regularly and to be a stickler with organization dealing with my writing and this blog. That means you might get annoyed by me, but better annoying than forgotten, right? What a great life motto.

There's a whole year for me to mess this up. But I'm keeping my fingers crossed. And that takes up the last of my energy.